Ill Be Fine - Stevie Hoang

I'm only human, and I know that I have flaws..I make mistakes...and I sometimescarelessly judge others and myself.

But at night, I take a step back...look at what I've said, done, and how I affect others and myself by my actions....I wonder if a sense of guilt is embedded into everyone- Especially, all of my family members. For instance, my brothers.....I sometimes wonder do they ever do the same thing I do before I go to bed at night....Do they actually think about what they've said to our mom and dad....or to others around them. Do they think about what good have they done for not only for themselves but for a complete stranger.

Do they ever feel guilty for the things they've done to disappoint the ones who loves them the most?

Growing up, I think I learned from mistakes quite fast. It's not that I was a braniac kid, but I felt an enormous amount of heaviness in my heart when I did something to hurt others. It's easy to judge me by the way I dress or talk...but there's a quote that I like to share with my journal:

"Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become."

I was never a type of person to ever even think of doing anything immoral (subjective to people) such as robbing someone or physically
hurting an individual. No matter how bad my life was, I never made it an excuse to ever hurt someone.

As I grow older, I learned that people make excuses to trick their own/others mind(s) into thinking it was "reasonable" to do what they did.

"Well I only did it because....."
"But if you would've been there..."

The moment an individual can accept their wrongdoings, and realize that there are no excuses....I think people can actually progress better in maturity.

I'm just rambling...but honestly...I do still wonder if my brothers do what I do and think about the wrong things we've done to our self and others at night. Would it really hurt to listen to their conscious? If they have one.......

Vietnam

Rice fields

Visited: July 2002

I Dont Wanna Smile - Yasmeen

I am extremely saddened...if that's even a word to describe how I truly feel.

My heart feels smothered with a dark fog...as if it's sinking deep down into my stomach...and aching my inner soul internally..

I don't know any other way to describe how i feel...i just want to sleep...sleep this off...sleep forever....

THREE WORDS:
i want ONEEEEE!!!! eeek!!

did I mention my birthday is in June? :)

Boy meets girl.....
Girl thinks boy is stupid...
Boy thinks and acts like he's cool...
Girl thinks he's an idiot....
Something happened to the boy...
Girl feels sympathetic and suddenly feels a fondness for Boy...
Girl falls in love with Boy...
Boy doesn't even notice..
Somehow...Eventually..
Both fall in love.




This is pretty much a typical Korean movie or just a original 'LOVE' movie overall. It's funny how things turn out. I never thought that I'd fall in love with the guy I'm with now, Tango. I didn't see any sign of attraction when I first met him, but now I can't even stand to be a minute without him. There was always the thought in the back of my mind of "what if", but then it never occurred to me that one day we'd actually take interest in one another. I firmly believe in fate.

To my Fiance:
When I first met you, we were already met to be. It just was not the time nor the place for us to be together yet. When you were away for a little while, and I moved away from where we first met....I thought of you from time to time- but never thought that those 'thoughts' would lead to me loving you one day.    You have touched my heart in ways that no one else has ever conquered. I hope that you feel the same way, too. Some people feel that they should not fall in love with such little experience, but I have already decided that it is you who I want to be with for the rest of my life. Why would I want to stray off into another's arms for 'experience' when what I have right now is the best experience of my life. What I have now, you, is the only reason why I move forward in life- is to move forward with you.
   I am glad there were people who hurt us, and people who we've hurt before. Because now...we know how to value and appreciate what's beautiful and special.



I love you...don't ever forget that Hunni



Hunnnieeee AHH!! loooook at what i found that i thought was sooo cute and hilarious!!!

So school has been kicking me in the ass..I hope I make straight A's this semester I really want to get into nursing school. After I get out, or perhaps during the break of my nursing schooling I would like to go overseas and volunteer for Operation Smile. For most of you who don't know who they are or what the organization is..It's a dedicated organization which consists of Medical doctors, plastic surgeons, nurses, whatever help they can find- to go overseas to give children with cleft palate/ facial deformities surgery. I would love to go and help others...It's the least I can do...

I'm going to try my best and learn Spanish so perhaps I can go to South America also.

Here are a few before and after pictures that the organization did...







I'm trying to block out the mediocre habit of having the materialistic mentality. Materials can make you happy temporarily, but I assume that helping others would touch your life and others life more. I hope one day I can join this great team and become an important essence to a child's impacted life.



What's more rewarding?
Buying a pair of expensive designer jeans? or Touching a child's life who really needs you? hmmm.

So i fell into the facebook stuff with the 25 random things about ME? I'll try to keep this as interesting as possible.

1. When I was younger, I got popped in the mouth if I spoke English at home. This is why my comprehension sucked until I was in the 8th grade and why I'm so fluent in both Vietnamese and English now.

2. My first name in Vietnamese means Phoenix, my Middle name means Jade, and my last name is Chinese which originated from Shanghai of China.

3. I keep everything. I have receipts and movie tickets from everything. Bubble gum wrappers etc. I remember when and where everything took place from my life that way.

4. I have never owned any Gucci, Loui Vuiton, Chanel, or expensive jeans like rock and republic & 7 for all Mankind. It's not that I don't want any of it or have anything against expensive designer things.

But those things are to show people that you have money..and honestly, I don't have money. It would just say that I'm a broke college student with a Gucci purse and expensive jeans...lol.

5. At one point in my life, I did not have many friends. I stopped and examined why, what I was doing wrong, and changed. The first step to changing is admitting.

6. My birth is the reason why my family converted from Buddhism to Christianity.

7. In head start when I was 3, there was a little girl who no one would play with. She was always dirty for some reason. I played with her all the time, even though I could not speak English and she could not understand me. One day, she didn't show up to school anymore. She was taken up by social service.

Still till this day, I wonder where she is and how she's doing. I wish I remembered her name...

8. I never made straight A's or even the Honor Roll until I was in the 9th grade.

9. I try not to feel sorry for myself, because I don't think I deserve that kind of pity/attention from others. Life is a gift.

10. My family is traditional. Even though I tried to fight it when I was younger, I will always be a Vietnamese American young'n.

11. I'm scared that by the time I start a family, my children will have no one to speak Vietnamese to-- Since nearly every Viet person I know doesn't condone in speaking Vietnamese anymore.

12. I love sour candy and oreo pudding.

13. I don't have text messaging. :)

14. I hate eating out. Why? Because I've worked in restaurants. The food is not made with love, they are made because people are getting paid. Home cooked meals are made with love.

15. Although I've been in a relationship before, I still feel as if I'm inexperienced in that area of life. I think sometimes I try too hard to impress Tango.. lolll thanks hunnieeee for being so patient with my clumsiness!

16. I only have one Uncle and four baby cousins in America. I am so glad I'm not like one of those people who's afraid to accidentally date their 2nd/3rd cousins. LOL. But I do get lonely sometimes when I see all of my friends having a big family.

[Thank God for Tango's family] I have new cousins soooon. :)

17. I would like to become a Doctor, but I understand that financially I won't make it if i try for 8+ years. No matter how cheap I am already. So I'm going fro nursing to make money on the side and hopefully I'll be able to go back to school to get my doctorate's in nursing.

18. I want to learn how to play the piano and guitar before I die.

19. I would like to go to Disney World one day before I die

20. When I was 12 I use to take piano lessons. I had a keyboard at home...and someone stole it. My parents didn't have enough money to buy me a new one. But on my 19th birthday, my boyfriend Tango bought me a bigger and better brand new one. <3 i love you anh.

21. I love cultures. I'm not racist in any way, but I do not tolerate stupid remarks. You get what you give.

22. When my parents arrived in America in 1980, my father worked as a janitor at an all women's college. As he was cleaning after the females muck in the bathroom, he cried.
He told himself in his heart..
"I will never let my children go through what I have. They will have an education and much more than I ever have had."

23. I pray to God that I won't disappoint my family.

24. I was supposed to be born on July 4, 1989, but my mom fell and had me two weeks early.

25. I didn't believe in God until I was 15 years old.

Phuong To

CSCI 103- Section 2

Mr. Vicknair

16 February 2009

The Morality of Piracy

            Today, illegal downloading has become one of the most widespread practices. A large percentage of people who use the Internet have downloaded music, movies, or computer softwares. Most of the individuals who download these files—through paid services, file-sharing applications, or peer-to-peer networks—by now are aware of how prominent the issue of illegal downloading has become (McMillan). I believe illegal downloading is not as bad as people make it sound. One should remember, just because it is illegal does not mean it is always bad. It is not immoral to download free materials because it is the technologies that has changed outcome of illegal downloading, it is the new fact to 21^st-century life (Michaels), and regardless if people become punished for downloading illegally-- it will not change a damn thing.

            A little before my generation got involved with illegal downloading, people were recording with tapes. People used cassette tapes to record music and video tapes to record movies. Overtime, technology became more enhanced by coming out with CD burners, DVD burners, and faster internet. Why create the CD burners, DVD burners, and faster internet if it boosts the illegal downloading? Why would you give someone fire but not expect them to use it to burn? It was inevitable the day internet increased the accessibility to faster downloads, music, movies, etc. The Internet has brought unimaginable access to information and extraordinary flexibility and opportunities for exploration and communication (McMillan). If they really want illegal downloading to stop, I suggest they should bring back 56k and blow up all CD burners.

            Illegal downloading has become a habit in today’s society. Obviously, even with iTunes, Rhapsody, and all of those paying music sites, the majority of people will still go for the freebies. Pirating will always happen regardless of the legit websites that is built to prevent illegal downloads. Music companies need to stop resisting and accept that illegal downloading is a fact of 21st-century life (Michaels). Many movies and music artist makes profit from other stuff like concerts and advertisement anyways. Such as the band Radiohead, researchers pointed out that despite the illegal downloads, In Rainbows was a success – CD versions were bestsellers and Radiohead tours continue to sell out (Michaels). 

            Just because something is illegal does not make it immoral. For instance, the speed limit on Highway 55 is 70mph. I personally drive 75 mph, but I have seen plenty of people who have gone over 80mph. If the government does not want us to speed, then why are our cars not built up to 70mph? If it is immoral to go 71 mph instead of 70 mph then it is immoral to have faster internet and CD burners. The government should not allow us the ability to speed and the access to better technology if they are not prepared for what it will cause. Moreover, millions of people get a ticket every day for speeding, but still people continue to speed regardless. Inevitably, punishing those who illegally download will not change a thing.

            I am honestly tired of hearing all the fuss about this illegal downloading crap. This is what happens when we have better technology, cool bands and movies, and fast internet. People want things they do not want to pay for, especially when it’s accessible on the internet. Maybe the government’s main focus should be to make some sort of super force field around the downloads so no one will ever have access to them but the people who have the money to pay. All in all, it is inevitable and I am just waiting for the whole ordeal to blow over like the Richard Nixon’s Watergate scandal.

Kai - Promise - Kai

When I was a little girl, perhaps 5ish, I knew that I was different from the other kids on the playground. I mean, I could speak another language, I brought different foods to the Christmas class parties, and even had a hard time comprehending others around me. I always wondered why we didn't live in the regular homes like my 'white' friends did. [ I lived in the projects ] And the rice? what was with the rice- I thought! We ate it everyday! I always asked my mother why didn't we eat burgers more often like the other families. lol. She never really gave me a good reason either.

In the 2nd grade, I had a very mean teacher named Ms. Rhinehart. She gave us a list of what we SHOULD buy for the Christmas party. My parents were always busy working so it was hard to ask them to take me to the store. On the list that was given to me, it plainly said "Cookies". This was new to me; I mean, ever since preschool I brought egg rolls to class or perhaps even fried rice. Now cookies? What the heeze. That night, my Dad drove me to the family dollar that was near our home. I remember that time, I was young and I didn't understand. I told my dad in the car I had to buy what was on the list my teacher gave me. So my Dad took the list and looked at it for a while. In the first check out aisle he picked up a bag of bootleg cheeto's and said "what about these? " I got pretty upset and was very rude to my dad. Why couldn't he understand that it HAD to be cookies? I was real frustrated that I was different from the other kids in my class. I threw a stupid little fit, and in that moment I didn't see the hurt in my Dad's eyes. I was a selfish little 7 year old...

As years passed by, I overheard my mother talking one day to my oldest sister in law. She told my sister in law the story of my father's life. If anyone has ever met my father, he is very quiet and self-kept. My mother told my sister-in-law that my father had no parents growing up and was very poor. His father had abandoned him when he was 5 and his mother had passed away when he was 7 years old. He was raised by his grandparents for quite awhile but was too poor to receive an education. My father never learned how to read or write. In Vietnam, you had to have money to have an education.

Thinking back on that night, I did remember the hurt my father had in his eyes. My heart still burns when I think of how stupid I was. For a moment, I was a spoiled little girl who didn't understand my own cultural background or where my roots came from.

He never had the privilege of a good life that had education, family, and money. Now he has a family and we're in America, and his children will have the opportunity to have a great education.

My father is my inspiration, and I don't think he will ever know that. I've done so many things in life to disappoint him, but I promise to myself and to him that I will no longer give him the pain I saw in his eyes that night.

Sometimes, saying sorry isn't good enough, but revealing what you meant all along has more meaning.



to be continued...

S.H.E - Wo Ai Ni - S.H.E


So if you haven't watched this movie yet. OMG. you are sooo missing out. I nearly cried on a few parts. Or maybe i'm just so darn emotional right now. lol i loveeeee steve Carell and Morgan Freeman. Actors like these makes me dream of acting. But yeah right?

I like the part when Morgan Freeman, who plays God, says..
"When you pray for courage do you think God gives you courage? Or an opportunity to be courageous?"
"When you pray for the family to be closer, do you think God gives you the warm fuzzy feelings? Or an opportunity to spend more time and be closer to your family?

It makes a lot of sense to me, we pray for things and ask so much from God but it is never given to us. Everything is upon ourselves. Nothing is free and simple in life and everything is opportunity we take at hand.

Just like in Bruce Almighty, it had a great meaning where it said in the movie..God doesn't create the bad, it's the people who choose what they want to do in life. He builds a path and people choose to either walk on it, take a shortcut, or walk away.

I love movies with good morals. I can't wait until my Hunnie comes up next week. I am going to watch this movie with him so we can share the laughs and moments together.

Well I have to get to studying now. I took a break for the movie.

<3

What's Your Favorite Toy? Brickfish

So I entered this picture for a scholarship...lolll i highly doubt that this will get noticed but then I just did it for fun. I love gizmo. My boyfriend bought him for me. =] I sleep with it every night and with my Little Pet Shop Piggy, Hamlet, too =]

brb.

Tong Hua - Guang Liang

“We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”

For the most part, I think I'm pretty weird, and whoever falls in love with  me is weird for doing so. LOL. jk. ;]

Fairy Tales.
If everyone had an equal opportunity or a shot at love-- would love still be the same? Would we appreciate what we've fought so hard to establish in the end? If love became so easy to come by, would people value it still?

I think not. Things that are usually given to us are usually unsafe in the hands of human-beings. It's like the money you work hard for busting 40+ hours a week is easier to hold than money is given to you for Chinese New Years [ LOL-i'm asian c'mon ;D ]. Anything that is given to us will never be placed as high on value as what we work hard for.

For something, such as love, to be appreciated it must be earned.

Just as money, for it to be valued or invested wisely with-- it must be earned.

Besides, we must have assholes and mean bitches. Without them, how will we ever appreciate the good men and women of the world? We need the bad in order to unveil the goodness that is left.

blah blah blah. get my drift.

But anywho. Enough on love and my cynicism.

My day was okay, besides the fact that I had a little mishap with someone earlier today. It's okay though. I never stay mad for long, there's no point in staying mad. It's so stressful and unnecessary. I'll save my stress for something else that is worthy.

I had too much caffeine todayyy. Ugh. I'm all jittery and shaking.

Next weekend will be Valentine's Day. Who's up for it eh? I've never really been a V-Day kinda gal, but it would be nice to celebrate it. I find that everyday spent with someone you love would be more meaningful than just one day out of the year where we have an excuse to buy a stuffed animal and flowers just to express our love. It's not a bad idea though, I guess it's the memories from the occasion that counts more than the materials.

Tango, my soon to be fiancee, will be coming up to Madison next weekend. It's going to be suh-weet. But I must keep it trillll, or else my family will call me childish. One thing that my mother has taught me is to keep my emotions under control and inside of me. Only express it when necessary and privately. I guess she sees it as a sign of weakness when you show someone you love them too much. Plus, when you don't express your love 24/7 its more meaningful when you do actually get to bond.

I never have anything good to write anymore. I need an inspiration to occur.

This is it for tonight. Peace. <3


P.S. I applied for an essay scholarship today...I don't know if this essay will work but I wrote it on my freshman year of college in Biloxi... I hope ya like it...

Pinky To

ENG 1113-10897

Mrs. Ferguson

November 2007

My Golden Cousin

            Every child is unique in his or her own way. They all carry the innocence that astounds us all. The beauty within the child is their little knowledge of the real world. My baby cousin, Charles, is eight years old. He was born with a defect of his cleft palate. People think that the defect will slow him down and prevent him from many things in life; however, they are very wrong. Charles is the brightest and most adoring child I have ever seen in my life. He has a personality of gold, a smile that melts one’s heart, and an incredible imagination. I do not love Charles because of his defect, but I love the innocence within him that does not allow his defect to interfere with his life.

            When I first moved back to the coast, I had to live with my uncle and his family. I never had a younger sibling, so it was a major change for me. I would wake up every morning hearing Charles singing to the Pokemon television show, singing to his mother, and jumping on the couch. One morning as I was lying in bed, I heard Charles singing the song Doesn’t Matter by Akon to his mother; without a doubt, at the very end of the song he said, “I love you, Ma.” When I heard what he said, it melted my heart. His world revolves around his mother, the only person who gives him security and comfort. For this reason, it hurts her to see people judge her son by his defect.

            One summer afternoon, I was watching television with Charles. When the commercial was playing, he glanced over at me and asked, “Can you see it?” I looked at him questionably and asked him, “See what, sweetie?” He walked closer to me and pointed at his upper lip and said, “This. They fixed it, but you can still see it.” As I was tearing up, I held him in my arms and told him, “No sweetie, I do not see anything. All I can see is your wonderful smile.” He hugged me and skipped merrily back to the other side of the couch without realizing I was crying because of what he said.

            Charles is a very smart and creative, young boy. Charles believes that his oldest brother, who also has a cleft palate, is his twin brother. One afternoon while I was on the computer, he sat next to his brother on the bed and asked, “Big brother, are we twins?” I laughed and said, “Now why would you think you both are twins.” He replied quickly with, “Because we have the same hair.” I thought this was so adorable that I had to give him a kiss on the forehead and a hug. His brother had to explain to him that they were not twins and that they were of different ages. I am sure that Charles feels better that he is not alone with the defect. They have support from each other and mainly support from a family that cares.

            We do not know why defects exist, especially amongst innocent children. They cannot help what has been bestowed upon them since birth. It hurts me deeply to see Charles innocently, happy now, but one day he will grow insecurities and hate towards himself. Undoubtedly, many of us are more fortunate than we bargain for in life. We sometimes take things that are given to us for granted. I give full support and compassion to those who are born with a defect, and to the parents who work so hard trying to give their child a happy life. No one deserves to feel displaced in this world which is why it is so important to be compassionate to everyone and everything.

So school is getting harder for me...I'm not doing as many hours as I was before but then man...idk i guess I suck at time management. I only have one semester left after this one then I will be done with my prereqs for nursing. I will apply for volunteer work since I need the hours on my resume when I apply for UMC.

I can't wait until 2010 comes. I'll be doing much better things [hopefully] I pray to God that his guidance will bring me through everything successfully.

I just got back from Wal Mart. I spent 38.82...Wal Mart is  A JIP! lol you come in to buy socks and leave with other crap you don't need. like griddle sausage biscuits =[.

I bought a new toothbrush. Its the same one my boyfriend bought me when I went to Biloxi to visit this winter. It works pretty well. It's the Pro-Health one.

My hair has too much volume. I think it makes my head look fat. haha. but cute.

I have a Quiz in Chemistry friday. I need to go buy scantrons but i Keep on freaking forgetting. I also have an advisor appt. 10:30AM tomorrow. I keep on forgetting ughhh.

I need a job to keep myself on track. I have no routines. I hate it that I'm so disorganized. I'm trying to change myself but it's so difficult. No excuses. anyone is capable of change. I just have to try a little harder.

Well, typing is making my left wrist hurt for some reason. I have to meet my brother at the Johnson Common's [cafeteria] to eat dinner. =]

I love and miss you Hunnie. *whispers* don't worry about the ring, there will be plenty out there-- but no matter what I don't need a ring to show people that my heart belongs to you. As long as your stinkybutt is still mine and comes home to me at night that's all that matters!!! :D

<3 muahs


I wanna grow old with you - Westlife

Today, I went to Memphis with my brother, richard, KS, Chi Anh, Nickie, Anh Thanh, Anh Long, and Anh Bi. We ate dim sum. It was Chi Anh, Richard and my first time. It was pretty good. They had like the cart thingy where they come around and you get to pick whatever you want. I tried to eat chicken feet for the first time but i like..frikkin chewed the toenail. LOL. Yeah pretty gross right? But hey, at least I tried. :)

Does livejournal have smiley faceys here? I hate having a journal with no faces! ;P

So today's the SuperBowl. I know nothing about football. We ate at Anh Thanh's house. Bo chien bu [spring rolls] or however you spell it. It was pretty good. I have a major headache now though. It doesn't feel too nice.

Hunnie is at work right now...so I'm going to make this journal quick so I can get to studying so I can spend some time talking to my hunnie before I go to bed tonight.

I will post pics later from this weekend. Chi Anh, Tiffany, and I went to Dogwood mall and also the Renaissance outlet. We took a few pics.

I'm so stressed out. Not about school. Just been waiting around for something for awhile and I'm getting real impatient.

So Valentine's day is coming up. I don't know what I'm giving to Anh yet. I don't know if I have enough money for something real nice..but then I'll think of something. sigh.

Well I'ma go study. later tators.

<3

"Think not of lost opportunities... but future possibilities."



"Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will."



Do you remember? This was the night of Anna's birthday dinner and we went to go buy sweaters that were on sale together at Gap. :)

I won't say forever, because that's just childish. I'll at least hope for something close to it.
I won't be satisfied because this is merely not the end nor is it just the beginning of something beautiful. So I'll at least keep some sort of humbleness in my heart.
I want to tell you I love you every single second of my day-- but that would only make my words become hollow and lose its meaning. I rather show you I love you than tell you repetitious words all the time.

I'll only fight as hard and love you as much---- as long as I'm still yours in the end. Just knowing that I have you to come home to for the rest of my life makes my day meaningful to go through with. 

I thank God for making me the dorkiest girl alive, because that's how i found youuu!! LOL. :)


to be continued....

So I woke up this morning and felt pretty darn splendid! My right nostril doesn't hurt anymore. I'm so glad. I didn't do much today. Chi Anh, Tiffany, and I went to the gym. We are trying to get into shape so we can look gooooood in our Ao Dai in May for my big day!

:)

I only did cardio and worked on my abs and arms today. We only started working out for like a week and some days. Tomorrow, we are heading to Madison to see my familia..Tiffany has never been to Madison before so I wanted to take her around [even though there's not much to do.] lol.

So I think I'm very content with the fact that I deleted both my myspace and facebook. Places that are oversaturated with people we know can become very annoying and nosey sometimes. Besides, I just needed a place to spill my beans. lolllll.

I cannot wait until next school year. I'm going to apply for UMC nursing school. Hopefully, I will get accepted. I have a Job Shadowing in March for a nurse in the ICU. I'm pretty psyched about it.

I miss my Anh. I know he would probably kill me if I didn't mention him in here. lol. It's all cool though, as long as i know it in my heart rahh?? ;D
I use to miss him a lot when i first arrived to the University life. But now that I know my sole purpose in college, I kind of disregard all other unnecessary emotions that could interrupt my studies. Of course, I still have fun. But it's to a minimum and more than likely with real close people like Chi Anh and of course Tango.

Sometimes, we become carried away with our own enjoyment if we are enjoying a little too much. When I graduate from nursing school and make decent financials-- then i'll go do more stuff.

Like I try to always remind myself.. "Settle for less now to gain more later..."

Well I guess this is it for tonight..tah tah =)

<333333333 Pank!!!

Click play and listennn..It's our song hunnieee muhaha :] All for youuu.


Please Forgive Me - Bryan Adams



Still feels like our first night together
Feels like the first kiss
It's gettin' better baby
No one can better this
Still holdin' on, you're still the one
First time our eyes met - same feelin' I get
Only feels much stronger - wanna love ya longer
You still turn the fire on...
So if you're feelin' lonely don't - you're the only one I ever want
I only wanna make it good - so if I love ya a little more than I should

Please forgive me - I know not what I do
Please forgive me - I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me - this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me - if I need ya like I do
Please believe me - every word I say is true
Please forgive me - I can't stop lovin' you

Still feels like our best times are together
Feels like the first touch - still gettin' closer baby
Can't get close enough
Still holdin' on - still number one
I remember the smell of your skin - I remember everything
I remember all your moves - I remember you yeah
I remember the nights - ya know I still do
So if you're feelin' lonely don't - you're the only one I ever want
I only wanna make it good - so if I love ya a little more than I should

Please forgive me - I know not what I do
Please forgive me - I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me - if I need ya like I do
Oh believe me - every word I say is true
Please forgive me - I can't stop lovin' you

One thing I'm sure of - is the way we make love
And one thing I depend on - is for us to stay strong
With every word and every breath I'm prayin'
That's why I'm sayin'

Please forgive me - I know not what I do
Please forgive me - I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me - if I need ya like I do
Babe believe me - every word I say is true
Please forgive me - if I can't stop lovin' you
Never leave me - I don't know what I'd do
Please forgive me - I can't stop lovin' you
Can't stop lovin' you

So this will be my first journal entry. Where should I start? I haven't had one of these since Xanga days.

Well first off, my day sucked. My nose started bleeding at 2am this morning. It was taking it a real long time to clot up for some reason. I was up and ready for my 8:00 class, Chemistry II, and it was completely fine until i made it to my Voice Lessons.

I didn't even get to attend my class because my teacher told me to go to the Student Health Center to get it checked out.

The people at the clinic was real nice and helpful, but i waited a long ass time for the doctor to come in. My doctor was Columbian. - he has a cool accent. He shoved that flashlight thingy up my nose to check it and then he told me he was going to put medicine on it...and it was going to BURN but it will stop the bleeding.

Little did I know............it was going to BURN A LOT.

Yeah, he shoved this stick with a little red end [which must be the burning medicine] into my nose and swirled it deep into places not even my finger has ever even reached.


It hurt like hell, and then i cried. haha :)

Yeah I cried, it was burning like heck. Afterwards, he prescribed me some allergy medicine?? o.O and i sneezed a total of 17 times in a matter of 5 minutes because the burning was irritating my nose.

My nose still burns as of now.

I miss my Hunnie. <3

BRB.